3 Important Lessons to Remember About "Finding Your Purpose" That No One Teaches You
The saying "find your purpose, and you will never have to work a day in your life" is a well-known but somewhat deceptive quote about meaningful work. It suggests that when you love your work, it won't feel like work at all.
However, those who have truly discovered their purpose often find that the reality is more along the lines of: "find your purpose, and you're likely to work tirelessly." Or even, "find your purpose, and you may constantly feel stressed because you believe you should be doing more of what you're passionate about."
Identifying your purpose can bring significant pressure, transforming into an obligation rather than a choice. I recall when I first identified my purpose in my work, I was constantly plagued by the feeling that I needed to do more. Lying in bed after a long day, I would be exhausted and anxious, overwhelmed by thoughts of the tasks I still "needed" to do, and what I "should" be doing.
The concept of "finding your purpose" is often heralded as a monumental achievement, but once attained, the challenge becomes how to maintain a healthy relationship with this purpose. If you were to weigh the days I felt stressed against those of happiness, you might advise me to care less and take a break. But initially, I didn't know how to, and this negatively impacted all aspects of my life: mental, physical, social, and more.
Over time, through much trial and error (accompanied by stress and anxiety), I've learned three key ways to let my purpose work for me, instead of feeling enslaved by it. After all, why should dedication to something mean neglecting oneself?
Purpose Sparks Emotions, But It's Not Emotionally All-Encompassing: The idea behind finding purposeful work is to feel connected, engaged, motivated, and fulfilled. However, life will invariably present challenges (like a global pandemic or layoffs). Despite the notion that your purpose should override all other emotions, it's unrealistic. Recognizing that it's okay to attend to other life aspects beyond your purpose is crucial.
Purpose as a Lifestyle, Not a Milestone: It's easy to mistake working towards your purpose as an obligatory task. The idea that there will be a definitive moment when you declare, “My purpose is complete,” is a misconception. Your purpose, by its nature, is ongoing – there's no need to rush. Enjoy the journey.
You Are the Creator of Your Purpose: Your purpose is a product of your beliefs and choices. It's something you have identified, labeled, and committed to. This means you can also redefine or detach from it if needed. You are not defined by your purpose; you have control over it.
Your purpose encompasses the areas in life and work that you feel connected to, where dedicating your time should bring fulfillment, motivation, and often, happiness. However, it's easy to lose sight of this and allow your purpose to drive you, rather than the other way around.
In essence, life and work are not about achieving something specific. They are about discovering what matters to you (your purpose) and finding opportunities to engage with these passions. Your commitment is not to your purpose, but to yourself and your well-being.
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