What if You Were Really Only Afraid of Yourself?

We often find that our greatest fear isn’t about others, but about ourselves. We live in a state of worry—concerned that despite our efforts, we might become the person we least want to be.

Will you find yourself feeling awkward in social settings? Overindulge in food? Put off important tasks? Lose patience with a loved one or spend too much money?

So much energy is spent fearing that this version of yourself—the one you want to avoid—will surface. And when it does, it can leave you filled with regret, shame, and self-doubt.

This constant fear and second-guessing of who you might become is exhausting.

But the truth is, you’re not facing this alone. As a coach, I’ve worked with many who’ve battled this same fear—fear of their own actions. And here’s what I’ve learned: the key to overcoming this isn’t about striving for perfection or making drastic changes. It’s about taking small, purposeful steps forward. Here’s how you can start:

Show Yourself Compassion: Who you are right now is perfectly okay. You’ve made it this far, and for the moment, that’s enough. The goal isn’t to force change through guilt; it’s to grow from where you are, not from an idealized version of yourself.

Let Go of What’s Holding You Back: Change is possible, but it starts with releasing the habits that keep you stuck. Often, we cling to behaviors we feel we need, even when they hold us back. It’s time for an honest conversation with yourself. Decide what you’re willing to leave behind. The mental shift will lead to physical change.

Create an Environment for Success: When striving for change, it’s easy to fall back into old habits if they’re accessible. Start by removing temptations—build a world around who you want to become, not the behaviors you fear will return.

Lastly:

Reimagine Who You Are: You’re not defined by past actions, but by future aspirations. Start talking about yourself as the person you’re becoming, rather than focusing on the person you fear you’ll be. This simple shift can transform everything. So, are you scared of the person you might become? Or are you ready to tackle those fears head-on?

Because once you stop fearing yourself, there’s truly nothing left to fear.

Live fearlessly, live for yourself, Ben