Pissed Off At Career Feedback? Be Your Best Leader and Turn It Into A Gift

I had an initial call with a new executive coaching client last week. She was informed that to continue in her role, she needed to develop her executive presence. While this feedback is common in leadership coaching, she felt it implied she was not good enough.

As we explored further, she shared feelings of being unappreciated and undervalued, which over time grew into anger and defensiveness. She was even contemplating leaving a job she enjoyed because she felt the executive team and board did not recognize her hard work and contributions. She was ready to say, "Accept me as I am, or don't accept me at all."

It’s almost impossible to be an employee and not receive feedback during one's career. Often, this feedback feels personal, and we react defensively, as if under attack. We put up barriers, become defensive, and do what we must to protect ourselves.

When we feel unappreciated or undervalued, we often push away from whatever causes us pain. At work, this typically means disengaging from our jobs. Constructive feedback, perceived as negative, can shatter our trust and sense of safety at work. It can turn a job we thought was perfect into one we want to leave.

However, the purpose of feedback is not to reject us, but to foster our growth and development—to guide us toward even greater success. When we turn away from information that can propel us forward, we miss the opportunity to advance our careers.

For my client, the key will be reshaping her perception of the feedback from a critique of her worth to a constructive roadmap. This involves developing strategies to enhance her executive presence and ensuring her efforts are recognized and valued.

Ultimately, feedback isn’t something to resist; it’s something to explore. It's not there to harm us, but to provide the "cheat codes" to maximize our current situation. By considering leaving, she would miss out on an opportunity to fully leverage where she already is.

Where in your career have you dismissed feedback?

Is there an opportunity to respond differently to feedback right now?

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In the meantime, if you're interested in learning more about how to achieve a fulfilling career, feel free to schedule a time to chat here.

- to your health, wealth, and happiness, Ben